Kim Kardashian Vs The British Monarchy

In September 2014 niche title Paper Magazine created one of the biggest cultural events of the year, and perhaps the decade, when they set out to ‘Break The Internet’ with the help of a naked Kim Kardashian.

Do you remember this hot mess?

Of course you remember this hot mess.

It was the hot mess of all hot messes.

Whether you like the Kardashians or not, you remember. 

Even if you don’t follow the Kardashians, you remember.

Even if you’d like them to disappear into a black hole never to be seen again, you remember.

It was inescapable.

Now, think back to that year – 2014.

Name ONE thing you remember the Royal Family doing…

Struggling?

Here, let me help you out, no one’s memory is that good:

• William and Kate did an Oceania tour and announced they were pregnant with their second child.
• Four days before Scots voted on whether to break away from the rest of the United Kingdom, The Queen broke protocol and said that she hoped the people of Scotland would “think very carefully about the future” before voting.
• Prime Minister David Cameron embarrassed the Monarchy after revealing just after Scotland had voted to remain part of the United Kingdom that the Queen had “purred” down the phone to him when he informed her of the result.

Okay, now that I’ve jogged your memory, do you remember any of these with a bit more clarity now? 

Maybe you do, maybe you don’t, but let’s go back to Kimmy and the Klan for a second…

How much more clearly do you remember any of these….

• Kanye’s VMA’s outburst at Taylor Swift
• Kim’s marriage and fast divorce to Chris Humphries
• The entire freakin’ wedding weekend when she remarried in Paris to Kanye

I bet you can remember those a lot more clearly, right?

Kardashian moments are like modern historical time stamps. 

Here’s what the Kardashians (and other celebrities) can do that The Royals (minus Harry and Meghan) cannot: they can create a ‘moment’.

The upper class set love to act toffed nose about modern celebrity and Hollywood – they attacked Meghan for being an actress, and will likely continue to attack the Sussexes as they live their lives in California. They love to act like they’re above it, that the Hollywood set are low-brow and low-class. They’ll clutch their pearls at the thought of Mrs West’s oiled bottom, but in reality, they wish they had even a shred of that level of organic press attention, popularity and fandom as other celebs do. 

No one drops a new single like BTS.

No one drops a surprise album like Beyonce.

Nothing goes viral like a new Netflix documentary.

No one (love it or hate it) get’s people talking like Kim.

For the record, I’m not comparing these people in-terms of talent (lol, of course not) I’m comparing them because of their REACH. The reach is GLOBAL. They are not just limited to British shores.

Where am I going with all of this…..

The Royal Family, courtiers and everyone in their orbit are so consumed with jealousy over Harry and Meghan’s popularity, that they’re failing to see that Harry and Meghan are NOT going to be the cause of their impending IRRELEVANCY. Yeah, sure, our faves light up the press headlines with every move they make, but on any given day, there are a million news stories and teen tik toks circulating, pushing news of the other Royals engagements, zoom calls and projects further down the press pile. Take away the Royal Reporters and establishment UK press, and they would get no press at all, not organically, and not unless someone is giving birth or getting married. Anyone who understands the current newscycle understands this, everyone it seems, except The Firm.

Their failure to read the room, meet the moment and update their outdated institution will be what eventually seals their fate, yet they continue to focus on and attack our faves.

Now, just so we’re clear, no one in The Palace has to go nude, (please, God no) what they need to do is find ways of connecting with people and stop acting so stiff.

They need to start showing some HUMANITY. Fake hugs and photo ops with a few people of color are not enough. Paying lip service to good causes without creating measurable change is not enough. People find a place in their hearts and minds for you when you are authentic, you cannot force people to like you without authenticity.

Meghan and Harry connect with people and create organic ‘moments’ because they are authentic.Diana connected with people because she was authentic and way ahead of her time.

What does it say that the three people who rejected the Royal institution entirely, are the only ones who can connect with people and actually create measurable and memorable change?

The world learned about the tragedy of mines because of Diana, and de-mining efforts were accelerated. Over two decades later, we’re having a brutally honest conversation about miscarriages because of her daughter-in-law Meghan, and charities related to the cause have seen an uptick in donors and press interest.

Meanwhile, at the Palace….it took 8 years for the future Queen consort to come up with 5 questions and it garnered little attention. 

The Royal Family are a Windows 97 hard drive trying to operate in an Apple IOS world.

They don’t know how to create ‘moments’, they don’t know how to connect with the public, they don’t know how to be memorable. This is NOT the fault of Harry and Meghan. This failure lays with them

The remaining Royals need to stop worrying about Harry and Meghan, they could have worked with them and lost that chance, the ship has sailed.

Instead, they need to consider how they’re going to come out the shadow of Kim K’s headline grabbing butt, which, whether they like it or not, along with many other things, is more popular than they are.